I found myself trapped,
torn down by my own belief
in the importance of other’s opinions.
Circumstances out of my control-
lead me to devalue all but
the importance in myself.
No blame is laid on the events-
which lead me here,
to where I am supposed to be.
Great, unimaginable strength
was gained from all this bitterness,
turned from a negative to a positive.
Now we are apart,
a friendship is over-
but no harshness or hurt is left,
only love and gratitude
for the things we did not see.
1 Corinthians 10:31
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Colossians 3:23
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
Yesterday, was the last day of my 14 day fast. I am proud of myself for stick to it. Even though I had cravings, and found myself reaching for foods I was not eating on the fast. The motivation of doing this for God was the strength behind my willpower. I have decided to continue to avoid processed food and most added sugar for now on. However, I plan on making the exception for holidays and special occasions. I am also going to continue staying away from dairy, including cheese. I will make occasional exceptions to this choice as well. Make these exceptions will be about balance. So, if I make a conscious decision to eat a dairy product then I will not allow any other exceptions for that week. If I choose to eat a piece of chocolate which has sugar, then I will omit the fruit I may have eaten instead for the day. It will be about balance, and understanding my liver can only process a limited amount of sugar to remain health. I will only make these decisions if it serves me, and my body which is a temple of God. I am thankful for God taking this experience and transforming me by opening my eyes to poor past decisions. I was not eating a balanced diet. It was full of chemicals and sugar. I know this is one of the reasons why I have struggled to maintain a healthy weight for my height. I am 5’2 and weigh 190lbs, or at least last time I weighed myself. I have given up weighing myself, instead it is about being healthy not my weight and being skinny.
Now today was the first day of my next 70 days, as part of the 70 for 70 Project. These next 70 days are all about taking the small commitment I made and building on top of it with another small commitment. The commitment is to find new ways to praise and worship God. It is about more than just words, but instead living my praise through action. I will start each morning talking to God saying …..” Thank you god for the new day! What can I do today to Praise you, and serve you through my faith? ” I will pray he reveals this to me throughout the day. This is not only about praising him with my actions towards myself, but also towards others. Jesus has called us to love others as ourselves.
I want to share how last Monday as I was beginning to approach this challenge which I feel God has called me too. I knew the next 70 days will be about serving other people. I wondered how I might have the time to actually accomplish his will. Last Monday my manager came in and informed me due to corporate budget cuts they needed to separate employment at this time. With all the push back I had been getting about spending, and not having the tools to be successful at my job. I knew this was coming. I had been already looking for new opportunites. I just figured I had at least till the end of the summer. The good news is I still have 6 weeks left from my last unemployment claim. I soon realized even though this door closed, God has greater things planned for my future. In the meantime he has made space for me to volunteer around the community. Today I went and signed up to work at a local women’s shelter, they specialize in domestic violence. My mother was a victim of domestic abuse, so this is a cause close to my heart. I look forward to seeing how God can use me while I am there. I am going to work at soup kitchen which is part of my mother’s church tomorrow. God calls us to feed the hungry. So I will do just that. I also plan on stopping by the local art center to fill out their volunteer paperwork tomorrow. I do not plan on just sitting around and waiting. Rather I plan to live each day in praise and faith for the next 70 days. Once a job opportunity comes, I will take it knowing it is God’s plan. I will still continue to serve others every way I can. If that means spending my evenings or weekends doing volunteer work I will. Who knows maybe God will use this to open a door for a job. I will just remain in admiration of his purpose for my life. I will remain faithful. I will let go and trust in him.
I want to continue to bridge my past which is being transformed into who God has made me to be. I no longer want to be stuck in the middle. Instead I want to live on the other side of God’s promises. I will do everything as though I am working for the Lord and not people. Will you too take up the challenge?
The word I read a couple days before my trip was Psalm 119:49-50 .
Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope. Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles.
The word was a reminder of God’s promise to me, to all of us. I asked for God to take any burdens I was feeling , and surrendered it to his yoke. I instantly felt relief from any stress I had been feeling that morning as I drove to work. Then as I was signing praise and worship to his greatness, I heard God ask me for my next commitment as I am continuing on for the next 70 days of the 70 for 70 Project. As I finish the last two weeks of my maiden voyage I am to prepare myself for 70 days of Praise. I will press further still into the Lord. Asking how each day I can best show my praise to the Lord for all he has done. I am to show with actions.
Praise is more than words or songs, it is also in what you do. I am going to spend the last 14 days of my first commitment fasting in order to prepare for this next step. I am going to do a partial fast, breaking from all added sugars, processed foods, dairy, white flour foods, chemicals, and preservatives. I will eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains such as brown rice or quinoa, nuts and seeds, legumes, healthy oils and fats, a variety of spices, and only drink water. Instead of looking at this as depriving myself of things I enjoy. Or having an attitude that I am punishing myself, which is how I sometimes feel on restrictive diets.
I am going to view this as a sacrifice for my Lord. If Jesus could sacrifice his life for my sins, then surely I can sacrifice sugar and sweets for preparation of 70 days of praise. Especially, eating my favorite foods of pizza and ice cream. I will also continue pushing further into my exercise commitment, which I will openly admit has not been as successful as I would have hoped.
A friend of mine once said that she uses yoga as a tool to build a better body. She teaches a christian yoga class in colorado. She described it as allowing God’s presence to embrace you through each stretch and pose. I am going to give this a whirl. I have found enjoyment in a good yoga class in the past, but did not always get into the whole yogi thing. Of course during my fast I will be doing a daily bible study. I will try to update you as I move along through it.
I feel like God is going to use this as a way to show me actions I can take over my 70 days of Praise. If I am building a temple for God, and the first 70 days I was clearing the foundation. I believe these next 70 days will be about pouring out the cement for the base of the temple. I want to build a strong temple on the rock and not on sand. I am planning to start my 14 day fast today June 5th and ending on the 70th day of June 18th. The funny thing about this is it was on December 18th of 2016 when God first asked me to commit to the 70 for 70 Project. It was 70 days before when God had asked me to wait for him to reveal a plan for me. I know his timing in all these small commitments are lining up perfectly. It makes me excited to start.
I recently went on vacation. I went to visit some friends back in Boston. A few of us went down to Cape Cod for the holiday weekend. I flew into Boston early Friday morning, met one of my friends to go get the rental car. Then we picked up another person who was going too.
We arrived to the hotel after three hours of sitting in traffic. If anyone reading this is from the Boston area, it gets crazy driving down to the Cape on Fridays throughout the summer. Especially during holiday weekends. We got some great food for dinner, spent some time exploring and shopping. I really enjoyed Falmouth, MA. One Saturday we woke up early and caught the morning ferry over to Martha’s Vineyard. The ferry ride itself was such a great experience. Then we had more great food, explored , and did some more shopping. I even rode the oldest carousel still in operation, and the whole time on the ride I just kept thinking how many people had ridden this thing in 141 years. I could even see in my imagination the weekend it first opened and what a thrill it must have been. The high button shoes, the bustled dresses, little boys in knickers, and little girls in bonnets, all dressed for a day at the beach. The year was 1876, so different from those riding with me in the year 2017. It gave me a grand sense of nostalgia, for the things of yesterday.
We finished up Saturday returning on the five o’clock ferry. We headed to the beach near the hotel, once we returned. We all had just had some ice cream before boarding the ferry so none of us were hungry yet. We all spent some time relaxing and enjoying the beauty of the sea. Then as the sun was setting we walked back to the hotel and went to grab some dinner. Later that evening I felt like I wanted to spend sometime alone. I ended up sitting on the patio near the pool for about an hour. The stars in the sky were too numerous to count. As I sat there alone, I put on some praise and worship music, singing to the wonder and glory of God’s beauty. My heart was filled with a sense that in that moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I was completely present. I had an intimate time of prayer and reflection with God. A moment of praise and gratitude for allowing me the time to come see my beloved friends. I could see God in everything around me. The stars got brighter, as I stared into the wonder.
Sunday morning we all got up and checked out early . One of my friends, who also was a former roommate, needed to be back at her church to lead morning prayer at 9:30am. I was actually grateful she needed to be at church because I really wanted to go back and see all the great people of my former church. I also had a lunch date with the family I had lived with for sometime when I was in Boston. They were such a blessing to take me in when I needed someone. I love them all so dearly. I became overwhelmed as I walked in and sat down. The praise team was already playing. I had a moment of tears as I realized how much I truly missed the church who became my family. The people who helped me to become stronger in my faith. Those who inspired me to press deeper into Jesus. During the sermon, like most sundays there, I felt like God was speaking directly to me.
When I first left Boston, I did not understand why God would lead me away from such a strong support group. I did not understand why I had to go back to my hometown in West Virginia. Back to a place I loathed, and never wanted to go back to. Yet, as I have shared before, I now understand how important is was for me to come home, and to face the things which are rooted to my past. I keep going back to the dream I had before I left Boston. The image of the willow tree being transformed from the roots up into a strong tall oak tree. At first, I thought this was just about me climbing, and Jesus telling me I no longer needed to climb. Now I know that I am like the willow tree. Although I was standing tall, if you think about the root structure of a weeping willow tree it grows closer to the surface. It is a water seeking tree, and the roots can spread far beyond the canopy. Disturbing the roots in the slightest way can damage the tree. However, when you compare it with the root structure of an oak tree there is a strong difference. The oak tree starts with a tap root, which grows deep underground seeking a dependable source of water. Once this is accomplished, the tap root is surpassed by an extensive root system which holds the tree firmly in place. I understand now how God has been transforming my roots daily, as I have been living here back at home. I am both trees. I am being transformed, by his grace.
When I returned back from Boston, I did receive notice that I did not get the position I had interviewed for the Thursday before I left. Although, it would have been nice to make more money, and it seemed like a great opportunity. I see how the point of the job interview was not to change companies nor my position, but God simply saying I can open any door. I whole heartily believe I am still exactly where I am supposed to be. I am not even disappointed about not getting the job offer. I know the promises God has laid out for my life are greater still. I believe in the hope of tomorrow, as I learn from yesterday, and live for today. God still has more roots to transform as I come close to the end of my first 70 day commitment.
I have even been shown what is next as I continue my 70 for 70 Project. Maybe even some of you will take up the challenge and join along.
We had donuts in the office today at work. As we were finishing up the event, which is why there were donuts in the first place. I found myself indulging in the delectable sugary treat. I stared at the donut for several seconds before I made the decision to eat it anyways despite what I am trying to do. I am trying to make better decisions when it comes to my body, and treating it as the temple God has made it. As I have been slowly changing bit by bit over the past month. I realized something this evening when I was reflecting on the day. More often than not, I would have grabbed that donut without thinking about it. This time around I found myself staring at the thing before I admirably said yes I want the donut, and decided to indulge. I don’t believe it is a bad thing to treat yourself every now and again. However, I looked at the donut and for the first time it was a decision made with complete awareness as to what I was doing. I was choosing to eat an item full of sugar. Not only that, but when I made this choice I knew and even thought about what it would potential do to make my organs work harder to get rid of the excess sugar. I am not angry at myself for doing what I did. It was a choice I had been faced with and a choice I made which did not serve my best self. Before this journey I would have beaten myself up about this choice after the fact.
The very act of being aware of my decision, being completely conscious, is what astounds me. In the past I have often made decisions based out of habit, most of these I was not always aware of. Let’s be honest, donuts taste good. Most people grab them from the counter in the office not necessarily because they really want the donut but because they are there. The past experience of the donut having tasted good before drives them to reach for and eat the donut when it is placed in front of them. Even when they are not aware of the decision they are really making.
I have made many different decisions in my life, and often I have not been aware that I am making them. It was my past experience which drove me to repeat the same decision in the first place. Which is probably why for years I kept making the same kind of life decisions expecting different results, but that is not what happens when you choose the same things over and over. Instead you get the same results. It’s just plain insanity. I feel as I walk through this 70 day commitment to press into the Lord and change the way I make my daily choices, I can see clearer than before. It’s as if I have been walking with rose colored glasses, unaware of the true color of things. Step by step God is transforming the glass in my eye wear; painting a better picture before me. The colors are becoming more true to the hue.
Next time I am aware of a decision before me, like grabbing a donut off the office counter. I hope and pray I will see the cause my decision may have. And hopefully this will allow me to take a new path. Allow me to make a new type of decision. I will choose to not eat the donut, not because I don’t think it won’t taste good. Instead because eating that donut does not serve my greater purpose. And the plans God has for me because of the greater purpose.
2 Corinthians 3:16-17 But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Sometimes when you are driving down the road through the mountains and valleys of life things happen that bring a fog rolling in. This past Friday I got the news my uncle had passed away. He had been fighting cancer for the past two years, and he had gotten to a point where there was nothing more the doctors could do. After I had gotten the phone call from my Dad, I had to finish up some things at work before I could leave. Even though I left work early, I still had the long commute home. As I drove home I felt emotionally drained. I was in a fog, mourning my beloved uncle. It is natural to feel this way after you find out about the loss of a loved one. The one thing that always makes me feel better when I am said is singing and listening to music. I plugged in my phone and put on my praise and worship playlist. As each song came on, I started to feel the fog start to clear. I started to focus on Jesus and the love and grace God offer’s each of us. As I was singing along with each song, I was reminded death is not the end of life. This is the encouragement I needed during my drive home.
I will honestly admit my motivation since this news has seemed to disappear. It can be hard to focus when you are surrounded by fog which makes the road ahead become blurry. I have spent more days on rest this week than I have exercised. The things which I have kept up with during this time of fog has been my daily devotional and prayer time. Actually I have been spending more of my time in prayer and devotion to the word. I have found encouragement and even joy. The fog covers the road ahead, but my heart shines brighter as I have pressed further into God’s words.
I know even though I am in a time of mourning. The veil of fog will be lifted, and the sun will shine brighter than before. Even in my loss, I feel like I am stepping closer toward God. This is why I started this voyage to begin with. I realize my reaction before I had set sail would have been different. I know this because it was different when I had experienced the loss of my biological father. When my dad died. I drifted further away from God because of my grief. Now I am seeing God more clearly through my grief. And so the veil parts like a curtain. The road becomes a little clearer. I see how I am still traveling on this voyage even though there was some fog and the wind stopped pushing the sails forward. This I am grateful for.
The following is from my journal about my experience the first ten days of my #70for70Project:
Ten days ago I got my new treadmill set up. As i stepped on it for the first day of the next 70 days, committing myself towards making different choices, I took another step towards becoming the person God wants me to be. And then the rest of the week, I felt as if negativity was following me around. It was if something, someone didn’t want me to take this step. Every time I felt fear, I prayed to God to put his armour upon me. As soon as I had prayed, I felt better and filled with contentment.
It was like the demons of my past bad decisions were following, but because I have learned Jesus is the only way to overcome. I had to keep each day going with prayer. As the second week approaches the negativity has slowly begun to disappear. I have found more motivation than I had before. I am still taking it slow. I figure I should build up my stamina first.
Here I am the first 70 days. One of my goals is to work up to 70 minutes of exercise by the end of the 70 days. Another is to spend more time praising God, and more time in prayer. I want to also read one verse a day. Which I have already been successful at. I already feel like my goals are becoming easier to accomplish with each days passing. Slow and steady, will take me through each day along my journey. I hope others will follow along with me as I keep record of this journey. I also hope my journey may inspire others to also commit to a #70for70Project of their own. It’s all about changing what you have done in the past and trying to go a different direction. So that our roots can become to run deep, into the love of God’s glory and splendor.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
As part of my new routine, I have been driving to work every morning listening to praise and worship music. It generally takes me forty-five minutes to get to work. This has been an easy thing to do, because I like to listen to music while I drive. The other thing I have been doing is listening to a scripture read outloud on the bible app I have on my phone. The first day I decided to do this as I started this project, I came across ephesians 2:10. I repeated it a few times until I was able to recite the verse.
I kept thinking, “We are God’s masterpiece” the rest of my drive in to work. I think about the word masterpiece, as I know the definition to be. A work of outstanding artistry, skill, or workmanship. I am reminded about my art history classes I took in college. There are many works hanging in museums the world consider masterpieces. The one thing which ties them all together, is how often the artists try to capture God’s masterpiece; us. The verse then goes on to talk about how he created us anew in CHrist Jesus. To many times in my life have I felt unworthy, not good enough. I believed I hadn’t done enough to deserve the life I desired. The one thing that kept standing out out to me, was how the verse does not declare we have to do anything to be created anew in Christ Jesus. Instead it is more of a factual statement. We are already created anew.
This past weekend was Easter Sunday. A day we remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us, and celebrate it. Yet, do we only need one day to do so. I want to celebrate every day, every hour of my life. When I think of all this, I fall to my knees. Should we not all pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower us with inner strength? I know my deepest desire is that my roots will grow down into God’s love and give me strength. I desire to experience the love of Christ, with every breath. I pray he continues to work within me, to accomplish infinitely more than I could ever imagine. I want to do the good things he planned for me long ago, just as it states in the ending of the verse.
I used to believe I had to do something worthy to deserve God’s love. Now I know he gives it to us freely and without limits, because we are his masterpiece. I lean into his love through this journey. Sinking deeper than I ever have before. Angels will rejoice at the wonder of each masterpiece. For we are all a love poem to the world.
To often in the past I have tried to make big changes by jumping. There is nothing wrong with taking a leap every now and again. In my experience though when I take big leaps, especially when it comes to my health, I often stumble afterwards. This time around I feel a desire to start small. Have you ever made a new year’s resolution, which started out going great but after a few months you found the commitment you had made faded? In the past I would set a resolution, such as exercise an hour a day or go on a diet where I only juice for a week. Like I said, nothing wrong with taking a leap forward like this. Often when the step was to far forward, I often found resistance which will only pushed me backwards. So, since I no longer want to keep doing the same thing I did in the past, which never lasted. I am going to take one small step forward at a time.
I am going to commit to 1 hour a day for 70 days, which will equal 70 hours for 70 days. Hence, the title of my project 70 for 70. I figure this is an easy commitment, and it should have the least amount of resistance. I am hoping by the small steps I take, God will guide me through my maiden voyage. I desire for his breath to steer my sails. I will move forward slow and steady.
We have three areas of our being; spirit, soul, and body. I hope to commit 1 hour of each day over the next 70 days on all three aspects of myself. In order to devote time to the spirit, I will read one bible verse per day. For the soul, I will spend time reflecting on the verse. My reflection can take many forms whether it is listening to praise music, journaling, blogging, and/or praying. For my body, I will spend time exercising. I am out of shape, and know this about myself. Instead of jumping into a lot of exercise all at once, I am not going to set a time frame of how much I should exercise each day. Which is what I did in the past. Instead I am going to set a goal of endurance for the end of 70 days. Since 70 seems to be the magic number for this whole project, my goal of endurance will be 70 minutes of continual exercise without losing breath. I will allow myself to work up to this number. I will also allow myself moments of rest, and not become judgmental if I am exhausted from the day at work and just want to lay in my bed and watch a movie. I will be slow and steady, building my temple one stone at a time. I know this will lay a stronger foundation. I will also be more aware of my eating habits. I can ask myself, is this something which will build a strong temple. If the answer is “no”, then I will not eat the item.
I feel as though these guidelines are simple enough to get started. I am excited to see where this journey will take me. I am excited to see how God will use this project to radically transform my life forever. A transformation which will last for 70+ years, a lifetime of living a love filled life.
Over the past year God has been taking my life and transforming it. I had stood at #WMCONF (World Mandate Conference) in 2016, and heard his call for me to Go. By the end of the weekend I had wholeheartedly said yes to GO where God was leading me. I had spent most of my life believing in Jesus. I had even felt the presence of the lord numerous times throughout my lifetime. However, I had never been washed by the spirit, in a way were the only thing left for my life was radical transformation.
I had been spending my life on a journey, where I desired things to be different. I lived in a state where my life would be better when….. this or that happened. I was always looking for grass to be greener on the other side of whatever I imagined to be the reason why I wasn’t happy. Yet, I could never get to where I wanted to be, or where I imagined I should be. I had many goals and expectations about my life, and I studied different tools I could utilize to make changes. I claimed that I wanted to be healthier, but I continued to make unhealthy decisions. I made excuses for myself, and for others. I even went so far as to use my unhealthy habits as a crutch, for why I was not who I wanted to be.
I made radical changes here and there. I even ended up losing about 60 pounds of weight five years ago, only to revert to the old habits which I was so familiar with. I dropped down from a size 14 to a size 6, which is the smallest size I had ever been in my adult life. Then life happened, and the habits I had tried changing on my own had slowly creeped back into my daily routine. I regained the weight, and now five years later I am a size 14 again. Some radical changes have stuck around, and I wouldn’t say that I eat to unhealthy. I became a vegetarian some ten years ago, and five years ago I dove into being a better version of the vegetarian I had become. The one thing I learned is you can be a vegetarian , and still have a poor diet. A diet of pizza and other junk foods, can be vegetarian friendly. However , they are not healthy choices.
Over these past few months I have come to realize one of my biggest lessons; you can not continue to do the same thing over and over again and expect things to change. This is insanity. To do the same thing and expect different results. Instead of trying to change my way, I have decided to allow the Lord to blow me where he will. Allowing him to transform the deepest parts of my own identity. I now see this as the path to becoming who God has made me to be.
Since I moved back home six months ago, I have been exploring how God can further transform my life. After much prayer and thought on the subject I am embarking on my maiden voyage. A journey into living a love filled life. The idea of the 70 for 70 project came a few months back when I was spending time with God. I was waiting on him to give me some direction, and so I heard him tell me to wait 70 days for clarity. I waited, and on the 18th of December as I was flying to Texas to spend Christmas at my brother’s house I had a dream. I was in flight and I dreamt the Lord’s hand was under the plane as we flew. I woke to a sense of assurance, knowing the Lord was with me in every aspect of my journey. I realized because the lord was with me, I could continue to see radical transformation. Unlike the changes I had experienced before, this time would be different. Instead of trying to change my life on my own, I would now allow the Lord’s love and grace to change me from my roots up. I would begin with a foundation. I would build the foundation on the rock, like the wiseman.
Matthew 7;24- 27 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
How will I begin to build my foundation, one day at a time. If you take 70 days, it can transform into 70 more days, or 70 weeks. Then 70 weeks can become 70 months, and 70 months become 70 years. 70 years becomes a lifetime of living a love filled life, one stone at a time.
I have spent a lot of time up to this point going through my shakedown, or period of testing before the first voyage. As I prepared to set sail into a transformed life, I started with the word “Yes”. I said yes to allowing God to lead me beyond the borders. I desire to wander farther than my feet can travel. I know when i am tired he will carry me. When storms approach, he will calm the waters. All I need is faith in his unending love. A love which moves mountains, it carves out canyons, and transforms a single drop of water into vast oceans. A love as Bob Goff puts it, love does.
My body is worthy of being his temple, washed in the holy spirit. For the first 70 days, I will begin to make healthy choices which reflect treating my body as hs temple. I will allow the word to transform the body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Oaks Of Splendor 